EAT MORE KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN

While traveling to Dickson Tennesse, the day after Thanksgiving we saw a billboard just outside of Memphis that read something along the lines of Boycott Kentucky Fried Chicken. Well it was explained to me why this kooky organization wants to boycot the Colonel's chicken. I gotta tell ya, it's about the lamest excuse for a boycott.

You would think Kentucky Fried chicken had hired some pedophiles, or maybe supported some traitor b---- like Jane Fonda, or that idiot Sean Penn. Maybe they took a stand against the second amendment like Rosie (the pig) Odonnell.

No it's not for any of those reasons, but because of the way KFC slaughters their chickens.

Well let me tell you folks, that just made me want to eat more of KFC. So thanks for reminding me to eat more KFC. Today I'll be eating KFC and I'll try to eat their at least twice a week if not more.

Hunting with John and Marine

On Tuesday John and I went hunting up on the hill. Mark was going further in the hollar in hopes of seeing some deer. We had just crossed over the creek when we heard marine (the dog) running up towards us. Now marine really is a nice protective dog. He loves John and Joan and he got to know Mark and I. Marine is also very very fast. I think his long legs give him the ability to cover some ground really fast. And he's lean and when he runs you can see the muscles going to work. Whatever you do, don't hit him in the head because if you do I think you'd be minus a hand.

So John catches marine and takes him back and puts him in the fence. As John and I are quietly making our way up the hill we hear something running through the leaves and as we turn we see marine running up to us. So John takes him back again and I wait for John.

We finally get to the spot where we think we might see some deer cross, and wouldn't you know it, marine is tracking us and runs up to us. John once again takes marine back and this time puts him in the barn across the creek. As John is getting back and sitting down, somehow marine gets out and follows John and is up to my position before John gets there. Now what do we do????

So I tell John to tie marine to the tree we are sitting next to and marine is pacing back and forth, and eventually just stands next to John. Thats not bad except for one thing. I am on the opposite side of the tree and marines rear end is in my face. The first thing that went through my mind was, "did he eat any gumbo or the mexican food we had the last couple of days".

Eventually marine just layed down between John and I and took a good nap. I slowly turned to John to let him know only to find that John also had fallen asleep. I think Justin had given him some pointers.

So I'm sitting there with John asleep and marine asleep also. What a peaceful afternoon. A cool breeze is blowing the leaves are off the trees, and we could see for quite some distance. I can hear the squirrels running across the leaves, and I also hear the woodpeckers going to work on some trees not too far away. As I glance through my scope I am thinking, what if I have to take a shot, what is marine going to do. Now that's a scarry thought. This huge dog is going to be so startled that he's probably going to take my neck off. Right about now is when I start to pray, please Lord don't let me see any deer while the big doggy with the big teeth is asleep. I think he heard my prayers because I didn't see any deer. Now if that ain't answered prayer I don't know what is.

Eventually John and marine wake up and as I am looking over onto the next hill that's when it happens. Marine sticks his tongue in my ear. yyyuuuccchhh. Talk about one nasty we willy. He starts licking the side of my face like a kid licking a new lollipop. At first I thought a ninja squirrel had snuck up, or down the tree and was trying to insult me but then I realized it was marine. Now we were sitting on the side of the hill and as I tried to get away from marine I started to slide down the hill but was able to hold on to the tree. Well so much for hunting, I think we scarred off all the deer in this county so we went back and sat on the porch.

Cajun Food

Just hit it in the head!!!!! Just hit it in the head!!!!!, That became a popular saying of the great goose hunter. Monday night while resting from a long day of walking through the woods looking for signs of deer, Joan made some gumbo. That’s right gumbo in Tennessee, and it was excellent. Well Justin and Melvin being from Louisiana had to try it out and see how good the gumbo was.

Justin and Melvin had been out hunting also up at Jays place. Well, I think Melvin was doing the hunting and Justin was checking his eyelids for light leaks. Justin was dreaming of a Dr. Scholls vibrating seat cover. I think if Jay would have had a long enough extension cord there would have been an orange line running through the woods to the great goose hunters chair. Oh,… and I saw that chair the day after you guys left. It was more like a recliner. I have to hand it to you young guys in Louisiana you sure hunt in style. Mark and I were sitting on the leaves and the cold ground, while you’re hunting out of you’re lazy boy. What’s up with that.

Anyway, back to the story. So Melvin and Justin drive up and Marine (the dog) goes ballistic. I think ballistic is putting it lightly. Marine was also thinking of Cajun food but it wasn’t gumbo. Uh…. did I forget to tell you we hadn’t fed the dog yet……just kidding. I’ll have to give Justin credit for about the first 30 seconds. Then he lost his game face.

The night we drove in Mark and I had that same encounter with Marine. It was like he had amnesia. He didn’t remember us from last year but we were lucky enough to have Joan grab marine by the collar and hold him. And when Jay came by he jokingly told us to hit him in the head. And I distinctly remember the great goose hunter (Justin) afterwards telling me to “just hit it in the head”.

So as Justin is trying to fight past marine to get some gumbo, marine isn’t budging and it looks like was getting ready to do some shock-n-awe on Justin. Marine took up a really good position where neither the great goose hunter nor Melvin could get past him or flank him either. As I’m looking through the door Justin is trying to walk up on the porch but marine isn’t letting him advance. Spit and saliva and foam are flying everywhere (not really but it sounds good) and I can hear marine growling and barking while the hair on his spine is standing up. It was cold that night, and with every bark coming out of marines mouth out came steam also. For a minute there, I thought there was a woodpecker in the tree or maybe a squirrel breaking open a hickory nut, but it turned out to be Justins knees. Meanwhile I’m thinking, I’m glad I’m standing in back of marine not in front. Yup this is gonna be better than any WWF show.

Justin looks at me and tries to move forward and marine gets louder and his teeth are working overtime. So I give Justin some helpful info. Dude just hit him in the head, just hit him in the head like you told me to do. The look on Justin’s face was a Kodak moment. It was as if he was sinking in water and instead of throwing out a life vest, I tossed him a brick. His eyes got big and his jaw just about hit the ground. Melvin is walking up and that’s when Justin jumps behind his dad. Smart move dude. I know what you were thinking. I just gotta out run my dad.

So I poke my head out the door and try calm marine down but he is still barking and he even barked at me. But there’s a big difference between me and Justin. I’m in the house already. Haha haha….. So Joan comes out and holds marine while Justin and Melvin run in the house. Just hit it in the head huh. Yeah show me one more time how you do that. I do have a picture of Justin and marine afterwards. Marine had calmed down by the time it was time for them to leave. It’s a good thing though because there was no way Justin could have run. That dude can eat some gumbo. I’ll see if I can upload the picture later.
Oh and there is the matter of the envelope on the license plate. That was classic. Of course Jay did tell me about the lightning storm in his house the night before you guys left. I still can’t figure out how I am going to write about the lightning storm. How about this. “I love going to Tennessee, where I can be myself”. A title like that just calls for pictures. I’ll see if I can pull some “out of the closet”.